My Screwup Tally - aka Letting the Skeletons Out

Cards on the table, here's my list of screw-ups that I can remember right now in no certain order (there's sure to be more):

• Unwed pregnancy with my first child, even though I am very glad to have her
• Two bankruptcies
  
• Didn't finish college because I'd rather hang out with a crush I had and I was scared to finish Speech class
• Threesome with my best friend and my lover on my grandfather's birthday, instead of being there on time for his party I was off screwing that guy
  
• Having the doctor prescribe my grandfather Prozac after his stroke, which I think wound up killing him
• Getting fed up with my grandfather constantly calling me after his stroke to turn him every 10 minutes. I'd give anything to have him here to talk to me right now
  
• Marrying a guy 10 years younger than me who won't work
• Getting pregnant with my fourth child when we can't even support the other three
• Going on food stamps
• Allowing my husband to have his damned internet (highest speed available) when we're this poor
• Ever starting smoking (finally quit)
• Allowing my husband to convince me of his bullshit reasons for not getting a job
• Having an affair
  
• Overdosing on Tylenol PM
• IM'ing people who saved me from dying from the overdose - I should've died
• Being a selfish bitch for wanting to die and leave my kids behind
• Too stupid or weak to figure out what to do to save us from this
• Signing over temporary custody of my daughter to Satan, aka my sister-in-law and my brother, after my overdose
• Being lazy
• Wishing to leave this mess behind that I helped create
• Still thinking about "that guy"
• Not cleaning out my freaking house
• Not washing dishes or clothes
  
• Letting my kids go unbathed because the husband says he's gonna do it and doesn't because he's playing his damned video games
• Not knowing what to do about the husband's internet addiction
• Allowing the husband back in my life after we separated. I was free and I fell back in
• Allowing people to take advantage of me because I'm a pushover
• Hating myself so much
• Allowing myself to be so angry all the time
• Not listening to J.H. when he told me everything was going to be the same as before, or worse, when the husband came back
  
• There's more, but I can't remember all of it right now...