What's Right with Me?

I'm not always this upset/angry/hopeless.

If I just had a little certainty and stability in my life, I would be a much better person.

For example, if that lying client that owes us $4k would pay us what they have owed us for over a year or if my husband would get off the damn computer and get a J.O.B. maybe I wouldn't feel like stuffing another bottle of Tylenol down my throat from this sense of hopelessness.

No, I'm not going to do it. I could kill myself but I can't kill my unborn baby. Oh yea, I'm pregnant with #4, in case you missed that part.

Anyway, what's right? That's much harder to come up with.

Of course, my kids are great. Wonderful, beautiful children. No, they're not perfect, but I never expected them to be. They are the best things I ever did.

Hm, what else. Well, I'm good at not judging people. That's something, I suppose.

Um....I'm fairly intelligent. I try to be fair and understanding of people. I love God even though my faith is shaken so harshly right now. I love my kids tremendously. I love my family - the ones that haven't gotten on their self-righteous high-horses and judged me. I'd like to see what kind of skeletons they have in their closets. And, despite all the crap - TONS OF CRAP - from my husband, I still love him. I guess that makes me stupid.

That's about all I can't think of right now. I'm just so tired.